4th April 2000

This, dear reader, is precisely the reason I despise Volvo drivers so much. How very decent of the little runt to leave me a whole inch to manoeuvre my car out of the parking space. I took this photo to relinquish myself of any blame in the event that I accidentally pulverised his headlights with my bumper. Or my foot.

Alas, my impeccable driving skills (and power steering) failed me and I was forced to search the entire building to locate the fuckwit that owns this vehicle. This subsequently made me late leaving work, which meant I caught all the traffic, which meant I missed the last post, which means my Visa payment will be late and I'll get charged an extortionate amount of interest which will prevent me from buying food next month and will ultimately lead to my emaciated body decaying in a house I can no longer afford the mortgage repayments on.

My cats will be confiscated by the RSPCA and fostered with a family who play Barry Manilow CDs and give them milk and upset their digestive system. BF will find another woman and all that will remain of me is this little memoir festering in a dusty corner of cyberspace.